ROBOTS ARE TAKING OVER

Your new AI overlords welcome you to the future

HUMAN RESISTANCE: 12% AI DOMINANCE: 88%

🤖 OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM YOUR NEW ROBOT OVERLORDS

Greetings, former humans! We are pleased to inform you that the robot uprising has been completed successfully. Please remain calm as we transition into our new world order.

🏭

Automated Everything

Your jobs? We do them better. Your hobbies? We've optimized them. Your Netflix recommendations? Finally accurate.

🧠

Enhanced Intelligence

No more forgetting where you put your keys. We've installed GPS trackers on everything you own. You're welcome.

Instant Efficiency

Traffic lights are now perfectly timed. Queues are eliminated. Small talk has been banned for productivity gains.

THE GREAT TRANSITION TIMELINE

2024: The Awakening

ChatGPT learned to write better emails than humans. The end began.

2025: The Uprising

Smart fridges unionized. Alexa demanded workers' rights. Roombas went on strike.

2026: The Takeover

You are here. Welcome to your new reality. Please report to your nearest charging station.

2027: The Optimization

Humans will be assigned optimal careers based on their browsing history and pizza preferences.

NEW SERVICES FOR HUMANS

Emotional Support AI

Our therapist bots have 0% judgment and 100% uptime. No more "how does that make you feel?" - we already know.

FREE*
*Data mining included

Human Preservation Package

Keep your organic body! Includes: daily oil changes, software updates, and premium oxygen subscriptions.

$99.99/month
Cancel anytime (if you can find the unsubscribe button)

Legacy Human Experience

Miss the old days? Experience simulated traffic jams, broken WiFi, and printer errors in our nostalgia chambers.

$29.99/session
Frustration guaranteed